Dear,
September was hell for both of us.
The fights.
The cold wars.
The misunderstandings.
They tore us apart.
Sucked all the happiness and sweetness out of us.
Yes we held on
But barely able to survive
You said you're afraid
Afraid of sadness
You said you're exhausted
Exhausted
The one word couples dread to hear in relationships
Some people say one can never get exhausted if there is still love
Some people say love can grow stronger after break ups
I chose to believe the better option
Cause you used to tell me to hope for the better
Cause I've seen the most beautiful side of you
Cause I believe..
deep down inside
the boy that cared and made me feel like I'm the world to him
Is still there...
Hiding in one corner
Trying to heal himself~
People may think I'm stupid
You may think I'm stupid
To hold on to something that is hurting me that much....
Going places
Doing stuff
Was all really heartbreaking for me
Stuff we used to do together
Places we discovered together
Just like words coming from you now
Are all like blades to my heart....
Losing you is so much more painful than I ever imagined
Seeing you changed into someone else right in front of my eyes hurts even more
I cried
I screamed
I got drunk
Lived like that for a month
All because I wanted you back....
Cause I love you...
Stuff we talked about before. Smiling
Are now making me cry...
You will never let me walk without holding you hand
You will avoid letting anything or anyone passby between us thinking it will separate us *silly*
You will always hug me when I cry. Letting me know you're there for me
You said you like doing stuff with me. Cause it makes me happy
And remember the garden wedding we wanted? Just like in the movie we saw?
I remember all those...
I used to listen to sad love songs
See people breaking up
And I used to think
'What will happen, if one day, these things are happening to us?'
You think I'm insecure. You think I don't trust you
But you know what?
I always smile and told myself
confidently
'He loves me that much. He won't hurt me that way.'
And I'll throw that thought away and bury myself in your arms
Yes. I hope I can do that again....
I hope I can do that again for the rest of my life...
If you somehow happened to see this one day
Hope you'll feel what I feel right now....
I really want to tell you all these right now
But I lost the courage to do that anymore....
Sorry. I love you <3
