Dear Mum & Dad

If you ever have the chance to read this one day...

perhaps you'll finally understand.............

You said I'm too quiet sometimes

You think that I'm not happy when I'm spending time with you......

What you don't know is...

Every time

While you are smiling to the praises from other parents

While you are enjoying the pride of his excellence.....

I'm right behind you...

In his shadows.........................

It hurts a lot....

I wake up in the middle of the night...

Because of heartaches....

I dread meeting relatives and teachers....

I'm worthless in their eyes now....

I'm scared...

Of what I have to face in the future....

Once he finishes Form 5...

I'll be nothing in people's eyes....

Many times

I thought of leaving...

Begging to be taken away.....

So that I don't have to face all these anymore....

And I can finally be Free..............

Shake it Up!!

F.I.S April Batch

Shake Up Christmas 2010

.................

Coming soon

22.12.10

Excited!!

Meltdown...

Take me away...........

Mae Salong ....

Went out for dinner again...

This time we went oriental...

Thai Food!!! C= kakaz.....

- Mae Salong -

Somewhere deep in a Malay Kampung near my campus....

Before that..

Guess what I saw on my way there!!!

You guys should seriously see this! The sky was soooo freakin' pretty!

Too bad I didn't have a better camera with me ...

Okay..Moving On~~

The place was AWESOME!!

Looks exactly like a classic Thai Village C=

Ponds, small bridges, fishes, wooden swings...... You name it!!

First thing that caught my eye once

I got there....

PEPPERMINT ICE CREAM!!! .....=)

*faint*

I had dessert before meal... *shhhh..* haha!

One thing I like about the place..

Everything is made of wood!

The tables, the chairs.....

And even the toilets.....

They use wooden ledges to lock their doors!!!

you know like from the old chinese movies? =P

And then dinner was served...

Fish was awesome..

Tofu was wonderful.......

The tom yam was.... *omg*.... Superb!!!

Definitely worth sacrificing my bio project =P

oops...

Thats all for now peeps.... C=

Merry Christmas!! Too early...?

Sooooo in festive mood....

Can't get myself to actually..... study

Even my roommate is starting to complain that I'm not studying..

Well, I'm not the ONLY one with christmas mood.. kakaz

An intended Physics project meeting became a Christmas Party Meeting!!! =P

Yup! A Christmas PARTAAAY!!

With Loud music. Food. Games. Dance.

and....... hopefully a Santa *giggles*

We even came up with a committee just like *snap* that....!!

Thnx to Mr. Hamster and his craaaazy christmas mood!

Anyone fancy to help me shop for Santa hats? hehe ...C=

If only.....

My parents were having a parent-parent conversation today.

I walked away the instant the other parents started to talk about my brother's results.

It was kinda like a reflex action.

An insult.

Ask me what is the one thing that I regret the most in my life...

SPM

My friends made it into Matric Colleges and INTEC.

I didn't.

My brother gets really excellent results in school.

I didn't.

And so you see,

people tend to look down on me.

The way they look at you, can kill you on the spot.

Even my parents made me feel that way sometimes.

But still,

I forced a smile every time.

And cry my heart out when I'm alone.......

Trying to prove them wrong is really tiring..

I'm thinking of giving up now.

If only I did better in my SPM..

Things will be so SO different now....

Take me to a place where my past is not known. Then people will no longer judge me anymore....

F.U.N

Dear blog, please forgive me for neglecting you for the past ermm.... 3 days?

I was too busy... having fun =X

Went for pizza yesterday...

Decided to ditch chicken rice again... C=

Thumbs up for the Ocean Tuna... Awesome!!

And I seriously think it wasn't ice lemon tea was drinking in the karaoke box O.O

Yea. I went singing.

No. It was not my idea. =P

But it was fun C=

*hearts to pying and yyan*

Theme for Dinner & Dance

BLING BLING @.@

Still in doubt whether to attend =S

The dress, the shoes, the hairdo, the makeup...

*faint*

That is a WHOLE lot of stuff to take care of...

Hire me a fashion consultant then maybe I'll consider =P

Fading.....

I was trapped in a dark, lifeless world

You guys came along

Painted it with colours

Thousands and thousands of beautiful colours....

All of these

Like I'm a dream

A dream that is going to end very soon

And I'll wake up to my dull and grey world......

Every one of you will be gone,

Far far away

And then no one will be there to paint my world anymore.......

First Thursday

Thursday.

Embarrassed during Maths lecture. @.@

Imagine this:

You get up from your seat which is right in front of the lecture hall.

Planning to make your way to the washroom.

With few hundred pairs of eyes on you.

All of a sudden, the lecturer stop his lecture on calculus

'I thought I just gave you all a break? The weather too cold is it?'

*smacks* So should I sit down or keep walking?

And then he goes on about sweating makes you go to the washroom less......

As you walk pass the crowd...

-Bad news of the week-

There IS REPLACEMENT ON SATURDAY

WHY??????

Putting me in serious dilemma now...

Should I skip..... or not? Deep down in my heart I want to!

Mum, Dad... Please understand that I miss home like CRAZY!!!

Let me go home....Pretty pretty please.... =(

The Secret remains a Secret

I've decided........

I don't see the point of spilling it to you

since it won't make any difference anyway.........

The secret will remain in the DARK corner of my heart.....